I had a really interesting epiphany today. And that is that if something hurts, you probably shouldn’t do it. Seems logical enough right? During this injury I’ve had a lot of time to think about how I hurt myself in the first place. And I did do this to myself which makes it all the more frustrating. There was no freak collision with a vehicle, no tripped in pothole, no rabid animal. Just me, overusing my ankle, repetitively slamming through the pain for almost three and a half hours. And so I’ve spent the last 6 weeks reliving that run trying to figure out why it happened and what I can do to prevent it. I know I pushed too hard – but why would I do that?
I was at the gym today doing some lunges with dumbbells. About halfway through the set I felt a really bad pain in my tailbone, almost like my spine was on the brink of shattering. This was definitely not a “just push through and feel the burn” kind of pain. It shouldn’t have been there and I had no business continuing. But I didn’t stop. I checked my form, decided that was fine and I should keep going. The only thought I had was “It’s fine, I’m almost through the set and then it will stop hurting”. And then it occurred to me. That is exactly how this ankle issue happened. And it’s exactly how the plantar fasciitis happened a few months ago, and it’s exactly how the exertion migraines happened with the weight lifting that landed me in the ER before that. It’s that concept of – this is okay because eventually I’ll reach my goal of what I want to do, and the pain will stop. What I’ve learned however, is sometimes the pain doesn’t stop. Actual damage is a real and present danger.
At any rate. Marathon training (even marathon training recovery) is still giving me powerful lessons. I didn’t finish all of the sets and did eventually stop the stupid lunges. When I started exercising a long time ago I had had trouble motivating and pushing myself and would phone in half my workouts. Then I learned to love pushing myself and loved finding continual improvement.
I’ve learned another valuable lesson today though, and that is when to pull back. When to check myself and realize I am human, and do have limits. It’s humbling, but it’s real.
Weekly video update – not much but still doing what I can. 🙂